You will not be heard here.

2006-11-15T17:11:00.000-08:00

Thought anyone still stranded over here might like to know:

I am permanently migrating over to Livejournal. Yay, friendlock. So friend me if you know me on LJ, most of my posts will be friend-locked. ; )

shu

2006-11-06T22:59:00.000-08:00

oh god they found my lj.

*cardiac failure*

well, a different group of them. *end momentary revival*

2006-11-06T04:35:00.000-08:00

i want a new new new new skin. i have no pretty images : (

2006-11-04T05:44:00.000-08:00

oooo. moved moved moved.

now could i please urge all of you once again, DO NOT LINK ME OR GIVE MY ADDRESS OUT TO -ANYONE- NO MATTER HOW CLOSE YOU -THINK- THEY ARE TO ME. IF THEY ARE CLOSE ENOUGH I WILL HAVE TOLD THEM MYSELF. thank you very much.

went out with diana today. bumped into chubi at far east! woohoo! then we just went out together. hehe. took puri at cine! whoot! finally! i haven't taken puri in AGES!!!! *is happy* haven't gone to town in AGES!!! *is happy* haven't eaten takopachi in AGES!!! *is happy* haven't walked up and down orchard for fun in AGES!!! *is happy* haven't stepped foot to kinokuniya in AGES!!! *is happy* haven't looked at socks in AGES!!! *is happy* haven't seen diana in AGES!!! *is uberhappy* haven't walked by myself in town in AGES!!! *is happy*

and tomorrow, more things i'll do that i haven't done in ages!!!! haven't cheonged GF2 in AGES!!! haven't had coffee bean in AGES!!!! haven't watched a movie with salmah for AGES!!! haven't gone OUT with salmah alone in AGES!!! haven't had salmah come over to hurry me up in AGES!! haven't...i dunno. will update list of things i have done that i haven't done in ages tomorrow instead.

i bought this really adorable notebook with a hardcover :D its got a design of a cat in front littered with engrish! love it! i wanted to get a frog memopad and a monokuro boo memopad as well but diana is a good financial advisor xD bwahaha. i also bought the lipgloss that aries has that i like so much! feels nice to buy things like this again!

2006-11-02T12:37:00.000-08:00

great... so i move but people i dont give my addy out to can still find me??? :\ i suppose its livejournal after all and i have to regurgitate my stories out to everyone all the damn time. geez.

um. yeah. lj update.

2006-11-02T01:50:00.000-08:00

yeahhhhhhh..new address!

if someone else finds this too, then ya they're googling me up, rofl.

you, you, you.. such an old hat yet so afraid, so withered by who you deem a "child", the child's curious stare? and this curious stare... how is it reason enough to create a scene? you didn't, of course, for the sake of appearances in front of your idol, but...how does a stare inspire so much fear that turns to anger to hatred to a passion to...create a scene? you didn't create a scene cos you didn't dare ;) of course you'd completely ruin your oh-so-innocent image in front of your idol. your idol is your idol, your idol is not your friend. i dont consider pigs like you worthy enough to mingle around with anyone who is within my personal spiritual/intimacy zone.

only does the perfection wear away along with my defenses in front of those who deserve the honesty.

2006-11-01T05:45:00.000-08:00

ahh just talked to diana on the phone. apparently you can find blogs through "sgcafe *insert nick*" rofl.. i found diana's blog googling up my own shit XD

2006-11-01T03:06:00.000-08:00

raaaaaaaaaarr.

im bored. and hungry. no food. no entertainment. time to think up another genius blog url since there are creepy friends of friends milling about...or at least it's made to sound that way. food food food. fooooooood.

2006-10-31T23:23:00.000-08:00

hmm. yeah. downside 1 of being some random semi/to-be-idol's girlfriend - no freedom of speech. can't say what i want to anymore and let other people know about it. telling other people likely ends up in the ears of other people as well. god, just chill and leave people alone, why can't you.

*eyeroll*

and if you fangirls [since you are probably here to catch the latest episode of OMGDRAMA] are interested, jiro is likely to be up for grabs soon ; ) let's see how much longer i can tolerate having to suppress my opinions.

but if any of you would like to talk to me personally or something like that, leave your email behind on my tagboard and i'll contact you with another email account lest my primary email address also ends up spreading like the plague.

yet another issue to address: i did NOT say it to your faces because either you wouldn't understand what i said or you wouldn't take it seriously. i know because i used to say shit to people's faces. stopped after awhile when i realized they didn't actually bother. however why do people bother oh so much more when its placed up on the intarweb?

2006-10-31T23:09:00.000-08:00

OMG IM GOING TO GO TO INTARWEBZ JAIL.

dude.

stop stalking my blog you idiots, are you googling up every keyword related to me or something? i dont give my blog address out to people less than close to me and i specifically request people -NOT- to link my blog because angry posts [like that one which apparently all of you are sooooo hyped up about] are written here, duh. live/dead/greatjournal is hardly feasible considering none of my good friends own one, so if i were to friend-lock every post they wouldn't be able to read it either.

that uber-mean post was...mmm written when i was angry. this is my fuckin blog, so am i not allowed to have opinions anymore? although that shouldn't actually have been posted, i tried about 3 times and blogger told me there was an error so i just assumed it wasn't posted.

and, disclaimer: my opinions do not represent jiro's, or anyone from seraph's. let our non-existent relationship be ruined but not yours with them. they didn't tell me anything bad about you [generally because i avoid topics like that].

finally, to emphasize one of the more important points to me: QUIT STALKING ME, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. YOU AREN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE IF I DIDN'T GIVE MY ADDRESS OUT TO YOU PERSONALLY. although i am interested as to how you found this place.

and, no, i do not care if you people hate me. if you don't share the same opinion as me or dont at least understand WHY i have that opinion, it means that i wouldn't give a fuck about you in irl either. although YES i am going to have to censor my posts out because of idiots like you. whatever happened to internet freedom?

2006-10-31T21:22:00.000-08:00

http://img503.imageshack.us/img503/1672/1006552743iq9.jpg

omglol. CROCRORI.

2006-10-31T04:30:00.000-08:00

#$@#%#@$@@# CHEEBYE CELGA >_>

sent them an upset email as to why the hell are there THREE payments to make? what about people like ME who pay 8$ everytime i need to send out a damn payment.

bloody nabeis.

2006-10-31T01:14:00.000-08:00

yes blogger has stopped trying to be a dickhead.

ummm. gashaus gig was okay. made friends with aries. i had a whole post commenting on all the people's clothes and stuff but nooo blogger likes to be an asshole so ya. umm. let me see what i can remember:

"gera[ldine]" - a.omglargerthanlife b.can anyone say LOLITA FUCK?? i should have gotten a pic of her to put up. unironed tartan jsk with black elbow-length shirt? with no collar too, i believe. and to top it all off, pointy-toed brown suede [at least it looks suede in the dark] boots. and no stockings. mmpfserhsdjksfjew.

"ellis" - she is wearing a lace headdress. with 384923794827 layers of lace no joke yo. no pannier either :
cheng2 - cute dress, but fishnets? and again, pointy-toed boots? at least the color matched but not lolita.

"theironictragedy" - omgmakeupLOLZ

"amelia" - i liked her top. and the green munnie box she guards.

uhh. i don't remember anymore. gestheameanene's vox shouldn't have taken his shirt off rofl. i can see frab going over his belt when he bends over to roaaar to diru. dennis is teh winz at emceeing rofl. GAZETTE BY RINDA. then jiro kindly offers me the anecdote of the acm gig. "can you borrow me a..." "LEND!" "sorry, can you borrow me..." "LEND!" "ok ok... aries kaiser can borrow me a..." "LEND!"

spent the morning with jiro. yay!

picking out clothes from sumairu for jiro, yay!

seraph's photoshoot this friday. yay!

spend saturday with my baby, yay!

GUITAR FREAKS ON SUNDAY, YEAAAH!

2006-10-31T01:13:00.000-08:00

testing blogger....testing eeble deeble deeble.

2006-10-28T10:23:00.000-07:00

*long, hard eyeroll*

i bring you more idiocy from sgcafe. you know there should be a website dedicated to this. thank god you have me who has no life after exams to bring them to you instead.

so i inquire about the brand of this absurdly expensive onepiece from an apparently unknown/forgotten brand...which has these strange ruffled lace along the sleeve which reek more of a cheap brand than moitie [lace also looks cheap, but that could just be the quality of the picture]...and she comes all defensive:

I din know u are SOOO interested in that dress as well, din intend to reply, but haiz...wait i kena 'say' again...or wait one of my regular have to suffer ranting from u again...
is it cos i get to wear and it somehow stop the terrible rumours? Proving i did have really Great and loving regulars who supports me so? want to know what brand? The material is really soft and good and quality is there, dun be a decaying angel

ya.. im not even going to try replying it on my blog over here. but geez, lady, your attitude as a shopowner is damn fucked up.

im talking to mendy about her now XD apparently i.p also cheated mendy's money once.. shes quite vindictive eh.. mendy brought a pannier back to i.p cos it was broken then i.p asked her to foot the postage to send it back to hk apparently and the "mending" fee was 60$, wtf? but the other time with the jumper skirt she just had her mum fix it.. wtf wtf wtf?

2006-10-28T09:04:00.002-07:00

mmm. good day until night. tired and lazy so pardon lack of punctuation or typing like im half-drunk [aside from having no spelling mistakes of course]

seraph's jamming, tb, do jiro and my own makeup, waited for the rest of them to finish makeup hair and shit then at 7 we went down to gashaus. that hellven dude [the one with so much er hype over] isnt very friendly. kinda annoys me.. then again just about everyone does for one reason or another so ya. gestheanaermeanermane's vocalist is cute in a dorky way. lol. perhaps i was also the only one who noticed that he has a flabby stomach and just shouldn't have taken off his damn shirt. ya. mmm. what else. oh ya apparently "kuek" was the guy who had awesome hair [color] in the jamming room at the back [deathmate's i think], only knew who he was later when jiro told me, lol. i like that kind of hair color. uhh.

-edit- OMG INTERNET JAIL PLZ [/edit]

2006-10-28T09:04:00.001-07:00

2006-10-28T09:04:00.000-07:00

2006-10-27T18:52:00.000-07:00

*big, inordinately loud, sigh*

2006-10-27T10:32:00.000-07:00

nooooo mooooore dramm0rz.

its boring now.

2006-10-27T07:34:00.000-07:00

http://sgcafe.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=58239&stc=1&d=1161919094

brandname/expensive does mean automatic omgwtfgood outfit. where are your stockings, lady? and her white pointy-toed boots are more stripper than lolita, plz [they kill every outfit she's worn them with] wtf is with the lace on the sleeves? it looks cheap too :\ but what outfit could possibly be so much unless commissioned? only baby's red riding hood op [+ a couple others] is that much...and those have prints/additional stuff with them. >>;;;

2006-10-27T07:17:00.000-07:00

rrrrrrrrrrr.

i just realized that hardly any lolita in sg coordinate blouse + skirt. all one pieces, rarely jumper skirts too. i wonder why.

2006-10-27T02:59:00.000-07:00

watched the prestige today. it's a good movie although we missed the first part and i tend to be slow on the uptake so jiro had to explain the beginning part to me again. it's an awesome movie when you understand it and all the lines are just so wonderfully scripted with hidden meanings [or at least you have to think twice in order to realize why someone said what]. the twist is great too, but i think if they didn't explain it properly in the end nobody would have gotten it at all.

wore my SPR knit top out today. some idiot shouted "eh, not hot meh?". it was some..office dude type, boring striped shirt tucked into his black dress pants and all that..jazz. it's loosely knitted, a detail which apparently escapes your eyes, dumbass!! >_> its more cooling than my other clothes in fact, aside from that its long-sleeved and likes to hang off me as well. arm hole could fit two of my arms and still have space, >>;;

gig tomorrow, gig tomorrow! excited, excited! need to go look at makeup for my deaaaarest!

2006-10-26T00:30:00.000-07:00

it's all about you~ baby darling jiro!

2006-10-25T07:01:00.000-07:00

i bring to you more sgcafe idiocy.

[edit]

because i can't be stuffed to say which parts are teh fail and which aren't [/edit]

people like them are why i am going to lose my faith in humanity soon.

2006-10-24T08:00:00.000-07:00

raaaaaar. photoshoot today was fun. ash brought geno along. haha geno is such a strange funny person. my feet were going to collapse at the end of the day Dx but oh well. got to see jiro again too! yay. raaaaaaaar. can't wait for the gig this weekend and on 5/12 at mos. hehehe!

2006-10-23T19:51:00.000-07:00

so ya. im stuck in makeup and done hair [although falling apart, geez], garbed and everything [no socks *wiggles toes*].... for the next hour. i have half a mind to go redo my makeup for fun but doing makeup twice in a day on myself usually yields a mini-catastrophe in the lavatory.

haha. forced myself awake at 9:23 this morning, maybe 9:22. eh i'm tired too okay >_> i guess a certain somebody has much less enthusiasm about seeing me lately. yaaaa i understand i understand, before the certain somebody even says it.

my mother came home. wahlao, could have come home after i leave the house right if youre going to be home so...late/early anyway? [shes a couple of days late, in fact, to come home, haha]

2006-10-23T05:03:00.000-07:00

WTF WTF WTF.

0.5cm of my nail from my thumb just broke off. WTF WTF WTF. 0.5cm is a lot for a nail if you go measure. it even cut into my nail bed, WTF WTF WTF. t_T and then another 0.2cm from my right pinky, JUST. now my nail feels bald.

i think my body is trying to tell me i have calcium deficiency.

I JUST SPAMMED CHOCOLATE MILK YESTERDAY WTFFF T_T;;;

just cut off the rest of my nails to prevent further severe damage.

2006-10-23T04:12:00.000-07:00

since "comments are not required" here they are instead cos im bored. no life after exams D:

NEEDS MORE LACE. props to her for those cute half-gloves though.

that headbow on witch_cat looks way out of place. and badly made.

more headbow fuckery.. its also not center.

high boots does not mean no stockings. it means cute sock toppers. so much for "full gear".

i can see why the parasol wants to eat you up.

LACE LACE LACE. i can also see why the bonnet wants to eat up your head as well.

hiddenanxiety should wear more makeup, but thats just a personal opinion. i see rampant amounts of lace and can almost bet you whats on her head is for the heavier days.

srsly, daijin is the only one who i have nothing to say about at all. mad props to her dress being handsewn as well. D: and for having a parasol + cute bag and nice shoes. sidenote: i didn't realize witchcat had such huge knockers. thank god for the bear in most pics...

obviously im in a very critical mood right now. hehe. better do well for my shoot tmr! better go check the mail for my headdress! Dx

2006-10-22T05:05:00.000-07:00

whee! i surprised jiro by going for his jamming today ^^ yay! i decided to go so last minute, didn't even have time for makeup except mascara ;x mmm thank god for the stone lions outside fourtones!! haha i recognized which studio they were in [the smaller one i think] by the sound of sui ran, hehe! i forgot to take my shoesies off again x_x then we tromped over to locke's place >_>; his computer monitor is so wiiiide! i think its just big in comparison to my laptop tho, ehehe. umm. stoned there for a long long time, ate his grandma[?]'s awesome curry then i went to go meet a customer. then jiro sent me home.

its still so early, 8! i should still be out man Dx cheat my feelings Dx my moms not even home yet, still in kl, wtf.

2006-10-21T07:48:00.000-07:00

*eyeroll*

idiocy breeding new subspecies of idiocy. cant even been arsed to elaborate anymore.

since this is generally not constructive criticism:

the haru lady is a dumbfuck, and the cow is a dickhead. whatever cow [+vince1293863928739123712937128931239128324982374923847239479128712941246129312 excuse the obnoxious numbers] says she agrees, rofl. you're twenty fucking six, lady, get your own fucking opinion.

so uh. haru rocks, yo. \m/

anyway i went to watch death note today with jiro ^^ it was a good movie but if you had no bg knowledge of it you would think it kinda sucked. L is so.. wtf ugly. he looked decent in the poster. cheat my feelings >\ actor for raito was the same as shuya's though! yeah!

had a great day with jiro today! love you darling!

2006-10-20T07:11:00.000-07:00

sigh.

something made me sad again today. i don't have much energy left for anything... only reason i do is because i have excess - boredom leads to nothing to do.. a bit of lyric-waxing:

piece of heaven
before my eyes
dont speak lest
we be crucified
piece of heaven
staining skin
crossing stars
while wearing thin
piece of heaven
out of reach
piece of heaven
destroyed and breached.

2006-10-19T21:33:00.000-07:00

*eyeroll again* idiots who don't think about both sides of anything before posting.

if saying something less than nice = jealousy fits [what i said on the forum is less than nice. what i said on my blog is even less nice which is why i tried to sweeten things up in order to avoid a flame war. can't be stuffed trying to partake in that to up my post count. i want to lower my post count >_>; feel ashamed for having >1000 posts in sgcafe actually. but annah, i want to say something also cannot say is it MEH].

but going by that word equation, cow must have had about 2138012739127319273 jealousy fits in his life. i'm surprised he is even alive and thinking well trying to squeeze out from his brain and employ such overused wit and sarcasm tactics...against me. lol what is with that technique and me? i dont see him using it against keokepa in their happy joy warfare...then again i don't follow the whole thing.

srsly people need to think about both sides. if i say things to your face i'm having a jealousy fit? i did say good luck for the whole program [and meant it] and i was just offering my opinion. so great anything related to haru = cannot have opinion differing from the happy joyness of ice_princess and the rest of the camarederaeiorjaie [still cannot spell the word]? last time i checked sgcafe wasn't communist.

jesus fucking christ. >____>

I LOVE JIRO MY DARLING!

@edwin, more er..substantial reply: what i was saying in my last post is that how they're trying to project the image of lolita with the clothes in haru [cheap fabrics, cheap workmanship even] to the general public [on the telly] is just bad :\ i agree with you how lolita is supposed to be seen. you could be more perfect in terms of anatomy of the outfit but looking cheap could destroy the image anyway.

2006-10-19T09:15:00.000-07:00

http://sgcafe.com/showthread.php?p=1479895#post1479895

WTFOMG???

most ridiculous thing i've heard someone try to do in an attempt to boost sales.. throwing around your weight as some extra in mediacorp dramas and a part-time model, using that to incite people to buy from your shop so they can appear on fuckin tv? if anyone goes for this, i swear.. lol. it is like insulting lolita. sure, cheap things like that is good for beginners who may not be sure if they want to stick with lolita, but its kinda sorta stupid to want to wear that on tv. you're going to show the public that lolita = cheap fabrics? cheap broadscloth and cheap lace? is that the kind of impression you want to give the public? that lolita is some cheap, throwaway fashion to just defecate on as and when you wish?

quote: "And all those who come must be in FULL GEAR."

rofl. what is the fuckin point of being in full gear when you are dressed cheaply from head to toe to go on tv in some small chance to be "talent-scouted"? lolita is not supposed to look cheap.. especially when you are not a beginner anymore and should go on to better fabrics, better brands, when you have established yourself safely in the style. not to mention i think it IS known that the haru lady likes to wear clothes from the shop or are reserved by customers [not from the forum, usually] to photoshoots [ie the shoot with daijin? the gore shoot awhile back, the punk shoot even.]. WTF?? >_>;;

i don't know why people still continue to support haru and turn a blind eye to these things she does while putting down sumairu [last time] and saying haru's quality is better than other brands despite it being not.. kstar from sumairu > kstar from haru.. there is a difference in the quality of kstar, haha. i suppose they are just sucking up to wait for chances like this where they can be "talent-scouted" rofl.. for what? talent scouted by mediacorp as a face is no use. you get laughed at by the general youth population who aren't losers and the rest of them..don't care. lol.

and no, i'm not jealous. i just find all this ridiculous and it brings to mind other points and dissatisfaction i have with haru and the haru lady. i don't buy from sumairu either but i dont have a problem with their staff cos they dont wear the things that their customers reserved just so they can look good in it for awhile *cough*

um. yeah.

2006-10-19T05:23:00.000-07:00

i am bored and lonely and sad.

nobody will talk to me, nobody can talk to me. i have no sim card right now, i can only call. but jiro will not talk to me and nobody else will pick up my calls.

why am i bored and lonely and sad?

i should be used to being alone.

2006-10-18T22:09:00.000-07:00

wtffff.

jiro's fangirls are adding me on friendster.

*reject reject reject* >_>;

2006-10-18T03:48:00.000-07:00

kelton is a pedo:

royal disorder says:

keru you are a pedo

keruuuuuuuuuuuu says:

XDD

keruuuuuuuuuuuu says:

i am not!

royal disorder says:

hah.

royal disorder says:

a

royal disorder says:

pedo pedo pedo

keruuuuuuuuuuuu says:

ok ok fine

keruuuuuuuuuuuu says:

i admit it

royal disorder says:

royal disorder says:

haha xd

keruuuuuuuuuuuu says:

i like little kids but i like big kids too!

royal disorder says:

xD

keruuuuuuuuuuuu says:

hahahaah

royal disorder says:

...that still sounds..obscene..

keruuuuuuuuuuuu says:

HAHHAHA

keruuuuuuuuuuuu says:

isnt it supposed to?

royal disorder says:

yeah

royal disorder says:

o_o

royal disorder says:

any gender preference? rofl

keruuuuuuuuuuuu says:

nope

keruuuuuuuuuuuu says:

both are good

keruuuuuuuuuuuu says:

but girls are cuter

keruuuuuuuuuuuu says:

hehehe

royal disorder says:

o______o;;

royal disorder says:

KELTON YOU ARE SUCH A CHIKOPEK

i rest my case.

2006-10-16T22:18:00.000-07:00

He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why

2006-10-16T02:21:00.000-07:00

*WTF TIME!*

so i put up a few selling threads. this idiot comes to ask me, "do you have anything else for sale?" if i had anything else for sale, i would have put it the fuck up now wouldn't i? so you're not going to buy anything i'm selling but you'll buy something else that i didn't put up for sale?

i discover new kinds of idiots everyday.

*END WTF TIME*

2006-10-15T04:27:00.000-07:00

mmmm. fruitful shopping trip today at causeway bay.

gothic/lolita/punk shops:

in_ni castle - basement of Ginza Plaza. sells SPR, deorart and limited peace now/black peace now things. LOTS of accessories. wristcuffs, ties, socks, gloves, mittens, wallets, purses, you name it. has generally everything from SPR [esp tshirts] except bottoms. they had a small selection of bottom ;x and bags. total damage 2110HK$ on a cardigan, sweater and bag.

BANANA FISH - hong kong mansion 2f. sells mainly black peace now/peace now and some banana fish items. lovely accessories :) their selection is quite good. it's limited but most of the things on the rack were lovely [and on sale!]. the lady was really nice ^^! and she gave us a further discount even though the rest of the items were already on sale ;x they had a lot of cute bags ^^ bought 4 pn/bpn tops and a pn leather bracelet. total damage 1600HK$ also had a pair of peace now ketupat creepers on display but not my size ^^;

Spider - hong kong mansion 2f, near BANANA FISH [just behind]. same selection as the one in Mongkok's. they have things that gravitate more towards aristo and gothic lolita style. had a lovely bustier for sale :) but i had nothing to match it [beautiful floral print]. total damage [mongkok] 740HK$ on skirt and blouse.

*heart*

other shops of interest:

Eden - They have a branch at Hong Kong Mansion 2f, and two branches at the building opposite x_x sells DMs and other random normal shoes. thats where i bought my 14-hole doctor martens today. they also had a gorgeous pair of black 20-hole ones, but my calves were too small for it :( it was beige with brown trimming and skull&flower pattern ^^ damage: 1110HK$

also bought a gloomy bear pencil case and keychain :D i wanted to get a gloomy soft toy but i have no space in my suitcase already x_x;

2006-10-14T03:25:00.000-07:00

went to the peak today.

i imagined myself with the one i love.

2006-10-13T23:21:00.000-07:00

sigh. good luck to seraph for the gashaus gig today.

actually just good luck to jiro. it doesn't extend to the rest of seraph.

candy dive pinky heaven

2006-10-13T06:10:00.000-07:00

-NOTHING-

it's a good day out today
but there is nothing left
but this heart left behind
there is nothing left
but this heart he gave her
there is nothing left
but the heart he let her break

he's counting the smiles he remembers
he's counting the stars he saw with her
but she's taken all his love with her
there's nothing left, nothing left
but memories of a farewell that never was

they were a thousand miles apart
they were lost with different treasures
but found peace beneath a barren sky
where the mixed up shards of hearts
slowly found their ways to the others again

she's counting the smiles she forgot
she's counting the stars they didn't see
still she feels the love that overflows
from the broken heart she took with her on this journey
there's nothing left, nothing left
but memories of a farewell that never was.

2006-10-13T06:06:00.000-07:00

i wish i were a boy sometimes.

it'd be so much easier to describe the love of your life.

i see the girl of my
dream is shining
like the sun
beside him

you're an idol in high school
he was a quarter back
he had sold me a photocopy
of your photograph
i am standing in the line
while holding confetti
i see the girl of my dream
is smiling like the sun
in her wedding dress

maybe not,, she don't remember me
maybe not,, she don't know how i feel
maybe not,, she don't even know my last name

bits of marry me by ellegarden.

their love songs are so cute : )

2006-10-13T04:31:00.000-07:00

*eyeroll* all those idiots clamoring to 'work part time' or just work, at the maid cafe.

*eyeroll* all those idiots asking me wtf is going on with my life. you don't even talk to me normally, get the fuck out of my face.

and

*eyeroll* all those idiots in general.

2006-10-13T03:52:00.000-07:00

haha. went running around mongkok today.

note to self: never go to mongkok with mother again. haha. i hate shopping with people, actually :\ it makes me feel like i'm carrying a burden. i like to shop myself because i get lost a lot and most of the reasoning out of directions of shops is done in my head, which is difficult to convey to other people [thus frustrating the both of us]...so.. :
candy wagon - i only saw an AP tote and a cutsew for sale, neither to my taste :( they only ordered from brands and didn't have any more ready stock. they had a lot of cute accessories too, but nothing i would wear.
baby cupid - very little actual VM things that were anything loliable. most of their stock is apparently also ordered upon request :spider - yay, haha. i saw an AP knockoff skirt which i already had in white. bought a black bustle skirt, which was pretty. elastic waistband though :\ and a lovely white blouse :) would suit gothic lolita, ouji and aristocrat ^^ with pretty buttons. all the skirts had elasticized waistband and everything was strangely coordinated, color-wise :( so i only bought two items. their accessories are very flimsy and low quality [by my standards xD], most of it looked like it would fall apart after a couple of wears. i wanted to buy socks but the lace was too scratchy, i was afraid it would be uncomfortable on me. they had another branch at causeway bay :)

so i'll know next time i come to hk, just go to causeway bay: in_ni castle and spider. we had no time to go look at dracula though :( oh well. maybe next time when i come with friends?

2006-10-12T09:37:00.000-07:00

haha. i guess it's true.

nobody has time for me anymore.

2006-10-12T03:24:00.000-07:00

hurrah.

sex pot actually has really ugly tshirts :\ i didn't find any shirts with the dc sleeves that i liked except for this plain deorart shirt. bought a peace now cardigan thing [:D PEACE NOW!!], spr bag and blackxpink knitted shirt. i wanted a black peace now wallet :( but it was too big :( BPN!!! @#!#@

peace now = pee-see now. ROFL. hong kong accent :P i saw abnn businessmen :P so funny la :P

in_ni castle has spr, deorart and a couple of peace now/black peace now. yeahhh! :D there needs to be a shopping guide for hk on egl :\ bah. i wonder why there isn't one, the question has actually been asked 298371293 times :\

2006-10-10T02:55:00.000-07:00

hi.

im in hong kong now.

things in livejournal.

bored. dont even feel like going shopping.

very, very, very much despaired.

2006-10-08T10:44:00.000-07:00

i'll be back. i'll be back i'll be back i'll be back i'll be back i'll be back and never fly away again.

2006-10-07T21:56:00.000-07:00

HAH.

I am declared 'beyond parental control' by my mother from august'06. now she has filed for that and if it goes through successfully, i'll be in juvie.

srsly.

she also filed for a restraining order against jiro. LOL. for what? potential intentional harassment. or something along those lines.

xposted to lj. cant be stuffed to write anymore.

sorry to jiro dearest, who i keep dragging into everything unintentionally bc of my mother's jealousy and control urges.

jiro's dad says my mother, if i could refer to her that at all, is bullying him XD

2006-10-06T02:03:00.000-07:00

YESSSSSSSS

I PWNED LIT

OR I KNEW I COULD HAVE but i got my period during my lit paper and cramps and i couldn't be arsed to write all i had in my head to write about lady macbeth and mr.gradgrind. and now cramps is pwning me.

*dies* NUROFEM NOT WORKINGGG..

chinese is OVER. HAHA. i couldnt bring myself to do the compo so i just sat there for a bit then went on to scribble crap. woo. a math pwned me, i pwned chem and bio. history and e math and joy luck club lit paper left and mcq chem/bio!

*whoops*

organizing a bit of a gathering on the twentyfirst, i want to see everybody i haven't seen in yonks and hopefully forge good relations with them. AHAHA. BILATERAL RELATIONS MMKAY! this is um..in reference to the garbed people, of course.

2006-10-03T00:42:00.000-07:00

i think angmo lolis look so dumb most of the time.

PERSONAL FUCKING PREFERENCE: i like thin, cute, small, azn roris.

2006-10-02T20:49:00.000-07:00

GAHAHAHAHA.

i have bought a black metamorphose crown parasol, the last one, from the site. impulse purchase, temptation from my mother's credit card details. i didn't steal them, she gave them to me >___>

¥4500. *slips money quietly into mutter's wallet*

*needs to stop being excited from first ever purchase with credit card for something for myself*

*needs to stop being excited from first ever brand item*

i didn't feel this excited buying naoto :\ maybe because it was tedious to run myself to the post office to send out a money order.

PISH.

2006-10-02T06:10:00.000-07:00

ahhh.

angsty post on loneliness on lj, friends-protected.

2006-10-02T03:52:00.000-07:00

http://www.sexpot-revenge.com/

SPR group order anyone?

2006-10-01T18:29:00.000-07:00

i think all this stress is making me go crazy. i've been holding tons of items for which i'll get after my exams. daaaaammit!! x__x

i want victorian maiden :(

http://www.babyssb.co.jp/shopping/pirates/101P502.html

http://www.babyssb.co.jp/shopping/pirates/102P705.html

i really like this but baby baby baby! why do you only accept ipmo and bank transfer. WHEN I HAVE A CREDIT CARD WHICH I CAN USE DISCREETLY >_> i don't like meta :( and closet child annoys me because everything is sold out within 10 seconds of putting them up >_> stupid celga not replying me >_> slap all of them then they know >_> nabei >_>

2006-10-01T07:20:00.000-07:00

yay.

i spent the night with jiro again.

another best day, best night, best moments of my life. another sweet memory to treasure, another to think about always. those are the moments that will come back to me the seconds before my death. those are the moments that will stay with me forever.

now i have the learnt the feeling of being abandoned, the fear, the distress the delirium. and i will never inflict such feeling on the one, the only one, i love, again.

ai ni, dearest :D

2006-10-01T04:18:00.000-07:00

i am really really annoyed with dead buyers, buyers who reserve things and draaaag the entire process, 'money collecting' thing on and then in the end they don't want to buy it. what the fuck is up with that? jesus fucking christ. it seems they just say they'll buy things for the fun of it.

sure i've been one at some point, but i dont think i let them drag on for more than two weeks. payment for two items have been pending for an entire fucking month and then they just give me some crap excuse. sure, one of them have some reason since i took pretty long to send their shirt out, but that wasn't a lot more than two weeks either. and its not like i would do something dumb like jeopardize my rep as a seller on a forum to not send out an item.

piss me bloody off.

2006-09-29T01:38:00.000-07:00

oh what envy the heart beholds of others for the mind and body is impure.

sometimes i really hate myself.

sometimes i have bad dreams.

sometimes people leave me.

sometimes there is nothing left.

2006-09-28T16:15:00.000-07:00

woo.

i pwned social studies.

didn't quite pwn english though. haha. i finished my letter in twenty minutes, HAD SO MUCH TO WRITE FOR IT BECAUSE I TOTALLY FELT FOR THE DUDE. it was about construction work so i had hella lot to write about my feelings towards the bangras. then i stoooooned for forty minutes trying to think up a story for 'greed', gave up and did an argumentative essay on handicaps instead >_> which turned out pretty godawful because i didnt actually think much for it.

AHAHAHA WHO SAY CHAPTER 3 NOT GOING TO COME OUT FOR S.S AH. i was RIGHT k. decontextualized sbq, chap 3, 6, 7 were the important chaps to study. >3 [not that i studied chap 7 actually.. haha. i studied 2, 3, 6 x___x] so hurrah for me, i mugged chap 3 like insanity! whoo!

the bug bite on my leg hurts. i have augmentin and balad ointment for it and if it doesn't work i have to go for surgery to poke it open >____>; it sounds so primitive. i imagine my leg being hammered open with various tools, no anaesthetic [been playing too much of dark cut >____>] eeargh. it has rendered me lame today, so i am unable to attend school on account of not being able to walk two steps normally without falling over. going to study math and chem like shitfaced today...!!!

2006-09-28T02:24:00.000-07:00

jeeeeeeeeeeeeeesus fucking christ someone needs an education.

2006-09-27T05:38:00.002-07:00

*eyeroll*

what's worse than trolling? a flame war. what's worse than a flame war? fucking idiots who comment on the drama of a 'drama' when there isn't any actual 'drama' going on. with their fucking obnoxious, "zomg DRAMA! LET'S "SIT" AND WATCH, EAT POPCORN AND BE INTARNET DICKHEADS BY POSTING THIS TO LET THEM KNOW I AM WATCHING W00T W00T!!!!111!!11ichi-ni-san!!11" that's even more irrelevant than what the group doing actual rebutting around are doing.
i don't give a fuck if i know you or you're my friend. if you're doing something annoying, you're doing something annoying.

just perhaps too melodramatic a reaction from the opposition team about the proposition team phrasing something just a tad harsh. gee if the person it was directed to hasn't actually come to tell me personally, 'hey fuck off whats it to you?' or something along those lines im sure the inflicted damage isn't great. unless youre telling me shes suffering from depression, anxiety and panic attacks at night because of what i said. it's the fucking internet, if that happens then that lady has some serrrious problems, yo. *another eyeroll*

i could outtalk a woman in her third trimester right now.

2006-09-27T05:38:00.001-07:00

2006-09-27T05:38:00.000-07:00

2006-09-27T05:23:00.000-07:00

i think it will fall apart soon.

2006-09-26T23:03:00.000-07:00

A woman came out of a man's rib. Not from his feet to be walked on, not from his head to be superior over, but from his side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved.

:D not that i believe in adam and eve, but yeah.

2006-09-26T22:51:00.000-07:00

i can feel my butt vibrating to the drilling going on downstairs.

@#!@%!#@ do construction during exam time, why don't you.

biiiiiiatches.

2006-09-26T05:55:00.001-07:00

HAHAHA.

sorry, im in an uuuuber bitchy mood today, nitpicky and hormonal, yadda yadda. just viewed the pics from the 'racer punk shoot'. wahlao, dat silver woman damn punk nia. punk until cannot b punked liaoxXxX.

first thought: what is this even doing here? i ignored it till max brought that point up [before that iw as unable to phrase it into words coherently for some strange reason] and then i went to every thread being trigger-happy with my opinion. there was a 'punk' section to it, that was pretty good, they all looked nicely coordinated while retaining individualism, the racer section left much to be desired visually. sure its a fun shoot, but with those kind of serious expressions in the photos, most viewers are not going to be given the impression it is a 'for fun' shoot.

collective nitpickiness over here, of which i will not tone my terms down anymore:

lilprincess: black nails and boots DO NOT go with that silver hideous hellion that clings onto her flesh. she needs to tweak her makeup, it makes her look sleepy and its not blended very well and her contacts didnt go with the outfit in general. the satin skirt, imho, slutty. i thought it was supposed to be sexy, if not just -slightly- skanky. but that was downright oldschool geylang, lol. i liked her punk outfit though. the jacket was really cute.

ice_princess: the skirt looks really out of place. looks like a cheap skirt made for cosplay, its wrinkly and flimsy PVC is never good. nice shoes. makeup didn't compliment her eyes very well. the earrings looked a bit ott imo.

helena: can anyone say concealer? her eyebags and cysts are really obvious, i dont see how any of the pictures there are flattering in any way. im hoping this is a onetime thing.

kula: best dressed one in both sections out of the lot, imo. she looks fine without much more than foundation [if she is wearing any at all], although maybe a bit too cutesy for the 'racer' [baby fat on the cheeks. adorable otherwise.] love her punk outfit though. the dc pants and platforms whoo. in the racer section her top makes her look bottomheavy though. its fine if shes fine with it, just not too flattering imo.

evning: no comment. nice jacket in the punk part.

let's just say im glad i didn't go for it.

2006-09-26T05:55:00.000-07:00

2006-09-26T03:07:00.000-07:00

GET LOWWW, yo.

2006-09-25T08:40:00.000-07:00

im so stressed i have a nosebleed.

jesus fucking christ.

-scavenges for tissue-

2006-09-25T08:22:00.000-07:00

what is with people and their sick minds? how does comparing me to any tom dick harry sally mary jane on the road with the smallest common criterion motivate me in any way? it just depresses me even more and i cant be fucked to get back up and try.

comparing = i'm not up to standard though.

so i'm not up to a lot of people's standards. tsk. as a failure in life i'll go lock myself in the kitchen and die from inhaling too much carbon monoxide. >_>

2006-09-25T06:59:00.000-07:00

excuse me for being incommunicado. last time i checked it was neither legally nor morally wrong.

been so horribly stressed by studying and other things. the past, the present, the future.

joy fucking joy.

2006-09-23T07:14:00.000-07:00

it's time to be what you need to be.

it's time to laugh it's time to cry it's time
to be what you need to be
it won't be long 'til
they are gone
and we can be what we want to be

-Vast, "Free".

heard this song on an episode of CSI. hehe gotta love the soundtrack sometimes.

met jiro today. yay. he slept five hours while i studied. lol. the little twit >_> i want more copic markers!! hehe. i finished my s.s notes more or less. going to mug for bio test on tuesday tomrorow! woohoo.

2006-09-21T08:54:00.000-07:00

WAHOO.

more lunarrrr. im at the frontier now zomg! going to continue again tmr~~ tmr is a friday! which means i can stay up laaate~ but i'm going to see jiro on saturdayyy~~ i seem so awfully relaxed for someone who used to be so uptight bc of exams XD but i feel so much better like this! tmr is chem test.. it's not like i don't know my moley mole anyway. lunar is eating up my braaaain! i can barely remember what happened before i stuffed my butt on the couch to clock in another 23892173987 hours!

WHEE!

i'm going to dream of dragons tonight!

study for bio test on saturday! zomg! S.S EXAM IS COMING! -panicks for a grand totale of 6.3 seconds before returning to normal-

eekums.

2006-09-20T08:16:00.000-07:00

HEHEHEHE.

i clock 11 hours in lunar: silver star story :3 spent the entire day relaxing with RPGs. YAY. i remembered this other rpg that i played on gba, similar format, sprites and stupid ogre monsters and frilly magick and things, i can't remember it's name x.x it was in japanese. i'm at the blue dragon shrine now, going to beat that bit tmr after studying. mwahahaha!

and i have an mc for my absence today WOO.

here is my horribly unnecessarily busy schedule for nov - jan:
NOV
-> vancouver to go for random school interviews. DOWAN CANXXX. two weeks.
-> sg for two weeks. going to be fucking babysat by a nanneh. DOWAN CANXXX [i mean the nanny part].: should take crash course for conversational japanese so its much more unlikely that i'll somehow end up in the tokyo sewers...with them tokyo rats >_>]
-> either that or japan trip in late nov instead.
DEC
-> japan trip early dec/hong kong while my dummkopf mutter is in bloody dubai/interviews for boston/la schools]
-> back to sg in time for eoy. two weeks.
JAN
-> hong kong for 1st 2 weeks/sg, babyfuckingsat. DOWAN LARX.
-> back to sg with dummheit mutter. NABEIXXXX.

presented the prospect that i don't actually have to go to school anymore. but apparently my auntie's words hold more weight and she said to have me attend school in sg instead. wtffff. DOWAN CANXXX. i want to take up like random courses so i can maybe learn some skillz and not be a useless person for the rest of my life. like sewing. i should learn sewing. domestic skillz lol. umm. learn to read japanese to make my life easier. and i should spend the rest of the time building up gaming skillz which my dearest dearest will teach me in his spare time because he's going to be studying for his o levelsss~

CHINESE TEST TMR, WTF. shoulda been absent tmr instead of today >( and there's p.e tmr! SHITTY BANG BANG.

2006-09-19T18:47:00.000-07:00

god. my mother didn't even come home last night. therefore i didn't manage to wake up in time xD on account that i didn't hear my phone alarm because i'm so tired all the time. i can only wake up with someone persistently smacking me. SO. i missed TWO tests today. e math and a math. hip hip fucking hurray.

been studying/mugging like craaaaap. i stay up late to study and then later to relax in case i go postal and shoot everyone in school, resulting in me being uber tired. and there's this obnoxious fucking DRILLING going on upstairs which doesn't stop. don't know what the fuck they're doing, but can't it wait?!!? do it during exam time why don't you!! without any consideration for any random mugging students like ME without obnoxiously loud headphones to block the cacophany out.

i should be going mental in about an hour.

-goes off to play lunar- i can't study in that kind of environment anyway. maybe i should go out today.

-goes to check if mother is at home-

2006-09-14T04:19:00.000-07:00

today i have eaten: 1 yoghurt, 1 serving twisties and 7 glasses of water.

and counting. the water i mean. now that i write out what im eating it seems like really little, but it doesn't seem like little.

back to the books for me.

2006-09-14T03:58:00.000-07:00

http://www.ufoevidence.org/

eek.

ive always believed in aliens.

2006-09-13T22:59:00.000-07:00

the world feels so much brighter, with you by my side.

2006-09-13T04:29:00.000-07:00

omg i'm sooooo ugly.
omg i'm sooooo fat.
omg i'm sooooo fugly.
omg i look like crap.

but let me post my pictures on forums where everybody can see ANYWAY! =) i'm sure they'll tell me something good for my self-esteem.

fuck you.

2006-09-12T04:16:00.000-07:00

some people are so socially inept it's not funny. i'm not naming names here lest anyone's oh so fragile delicate feelings are hurt. remember: just because it sounds like you doesn't mean it IS you.

idiots think they're sooooooo witty and their suck-up social circles all agree with them when they say something that appears to be sooooooo witty, when looking from a more intelligent point of view they make no fucking sense, appear to have lost the points theyre supposedly rebutting, even before they even stuffed it into their brains. idiots that can't take people's putting-downs. sure, it might have been a little blunt, but fuck, it's not like you haven't ever said anything bad about people before behind their backs, so wtf is your problem? idiots who think they're soooooo smart when they're rebuttals in arguments/debates/etc make no fucking sense and it's obvious you rip your points off other people if anyone's stuck around the place long enough. idiots who have no fucking mind of their own and want to fit in and so want to be like the rest of the fucktards hanging around. idiots who make such a big deal out of if you like vk/jrock but don't know their entire discography by heart [who cares if you haven't listened to any of their other songs except their hits??? OLOLOLOLOL0l. LIEK JUST NOE IT K COZ IT MEANS U R HARDCORE FAN!!!!11]. what the fuck is wrong with just liking some of them and not the whole camarederie? idiots who seem to think if you don't know every single oshare band out there you're OMG N0T A TRU JRAWK FANZ PLZ!!11]. jrock is a genre, not a cult, you fucktards. idiots who seem to be oblivious to a lot of things out there but they claim to be oh-so-exposed to the outside world when from the way they talk, the way they talk about their life, they're just another sheltered fucktard. idiots who can't take criticism but put themselves out on an anything-goes forum/community/site. idiots who can't chill and take a fucking joke. idiots who need to pull their motherfucking shit stained heads from their motherfucking arse and take a good look around.

that felt good.

[edit] oh, and, idiots who inject japanese into their everyday [typed] speech, your grammar is wrong and you sound stupid, it's neither actual japanese or english, romanji. just speak in fucking english. and stupid noobs on sgcafe :\ i hope my stuff sells out soon, then i'm going to stop going, lol x.x place is chockful of idiots.

2006-09-12T03:01:00.000-07:00

DECADENT MUSIC IS PROHIBITED.

my favorite line from battle royale, lol :P just read a bit of the novel again.

i'm surprised i'm not dead yet really, 12 glasses of water in three hours. i drink water, i piss water. nobody put a cup near me while i'm at the laptop anymore x.x today studied a math with gushie and annette. hehe gushie gave me a penguin doll :D and annette a pig doll as an uber belated present :D she tried to teach me functions. annette is a crap teacher. just sqwaks at me all day long hehe.

i fell asleep in bio and dreamt of car racing for five minutes. and drooled.

eheheehehehehehhehe.

2006-09-10T06:31:00.000-07:00

hehehehe, spent today with jiro ^^ we watched underworld2. then we took an hour nap before he sent me home, even though he was sick. he gave me a sunflower~

kimi to himawari :D

2006-09-08T07:59:00.000-07:00

yukiiii no hanaaa ^^

2006-09-08T02:02:00.000-07:00

i think i'm kind of late, but i like CSI :D [at least, it's a good time killer.]

better late then never. cant ever recognize grissom as grissom till a few seconds later though. he just doesn't look very.. prominent :\ i wanna eat steeeeeeaaakk~

2006-09-07T09:00:00.000-07:00

today was another good, good day. spent 8 hours+ with my dearest. silly boy was supposed to wake up early but he didn't manage to on account of a nightmare :\ but it's alright. i made some notes at tb, he didn't teach me much but nvm ;\. we watched vids on youtube did random nonsense and HEHE EXPLICIT DETAILS [NON-LESBIAN PLZ OMG LOL!!!11] <-couldn't resist, sorry, hehe.

we had subway for lunch and dinner. I LIKE!! and i had belgium chocolate from haagan dazs, eek! there were these huge squishable head things at this shop at raffles T_T $190 xD so cute!! gah. but i have no space for it in my house except under my desk/bed to collect dust :\ i need a bigger room! shitface!!!

yay i had dinner with my dearest at tb again! just like we used to ^^ and we spent much time lolling around in bed cuddling and having couple time :D i really miss what we used to have, really, during the june hols. we could spend so much time together at tb and stuff. but i guess being apart for a bit helps us cherish the times we spend together more.

everytime i'm with jiro it's i'm meeting him for the first time or i haven't seen him in a long time. and a lot of other details most of you people wouldn't really want to know about. then i got my PERIOD. GAH. but my dearest was so sweet to go down to ABNN Trading to buy my napkins for me ^^ and came up with lays, eek!

our luck is staring to change. now we share a pair of good luck armwarmers. ^^

on a side note, it's a full moon today :)

2006-09-05T22:21:00.000-07:00

i just realized that i can't actually do much studying because i don't know what's going on. i dont even know what chapters we've learnt in school, let alone understanding the squiggles on my textbook >_> ive forgotten how to do the mole concept, remainder and factor therem, and never knew how to do the rest of a math and chem.

i hope we're not expected to learn acids bases and salts.

shitty BANG BANG.

umm. *goes to rewrite s.s notes for the 8th time*

2006-09-05T20:09:00.000-07:00

Hurrah. APPARENTLY I AM UNABLE TO DECIDE FOR MYSELF ANYMORE, what my fucking priorities are. or at least it seems to be such an unorthodox thing to do to manage my own priorities that people get upset over me wanting to do that, and the end result. i am sick of arguing with my mother over jiro, and with jiro over my mother

everyone to just get along. just understand and compromise a bit. my mother can't expect me to break up with jiro just because she doesn't like him, it wouldn't help anything. and jiro can't expect me to just sever all ties with my mother. it would help nothing, especially since i live under the same roof as her.

which part of all this is my fault? i really want to know. is it because i love someone else aside from my own mother? is that wrong? or is it wrong want to want to have a decent relationship at least with someone i live with?

it's funny how they're both older than me and act like jealous toddlers. i can only change ONE of your diapers at any one time. dude. if i try both the shit will hit the fan. [/weird analogy]

2006-09-04T10:17:00.000-07:00

Yey. Thread up on noobcafe:

i'm going to tokyo eoy so i'm offering a shopping service :D 10% commission charge [with exceptions because i'm a biased git n_n]. yey for loli! those interested can im/pm/text/email/whatever me. you can start ordering in nov because items now won't be there in december.

i'm expecting a whole lot of 'omg nice! but jap brands damn ex leh.. cannot afford..' replies. :\ if that assumption proves true i am going to make a fuss of it on the thread. hehe drama queen l0llerz.

been up to nothing much lately. had chinese oral today. could have come to school at 12 and still made it in time to take my oral. >_> spent an hour and a half doing nothing. annette and amanda didn't even wait for me. dirty bastards. stupid nikki wanted eelee to go before me LA. even though she's supposed to go after. got kinda pissed off at that =\ it's not my problem that eelee came late so don't make it mine. motherfuckers.

2006-09-03T07:29:00.000-07:00

i love you jiro. you are so dear to me nothing else is dearererererererererere. i love youuu!!

2006-09-03T07:04:00.000-07:00

hehe. went out with woddee today. ate kfc, took puri, looked at vol 22 of glb. ftw that model for bpn/ap/etc s so... weird o_o and the gaijin in baby's ad too. mana looks better without his fish lips. went to bugis street to walk around, nothing interesting. went to look at the new punk/loli shop at bugis point. nothing interesting. woddee found a coat which doesnt really flatter her figure but she likes it so o.o 128$, lol. fo gigure. met up with jiro in the evening and he sent me home.

good day.

2006-08-31T21:20:00.000-07:00

ugh. i almost think it's funny how my mother is jealous of jiro. i dont see why a person's 'most important person' should be defined by how much the other person has done for you. can't someone even decide that for themselves now? parents want it automatically to be them, when it comes to their children. why isn't it possible to be someone else? why can't they choose for themselves? so you don't raise your children because you love them, but because you seek to be someone's 'most important'? i dont believe in 'parent-child' 'love', they would only 'do anything for their children' because they would be looked down upon by others as bad parents if they didn't and so they fulfill their selfish desire of wanting be 'most important to someone'. children grow up to teach their children exactly the way their parents taught them, i don't think it's because they 'realize' that their parents were right after all, but because it's been instilled in them that this is 'right' and if you do otherwise you will be on the receiving end of abuse taking on whatever form.

my mother keeps telling me we're really close, almost brainwashing me into it. but i asked a couple of people who know both my mother and i, and well, they see our relationship as strained and awkward. and when i observe what we do and realize it is pretty true. we 'fight', and we go to sleep harboring intense hate [or at least, i do], and eventually the hate becomes long term. it's supposed to be proven, i think, that your mood before you go to sleep affects yourself as whole.

i think i'm going to stop talking now.

2006-08-31T18:00:00.000-07:00

i'm fine.
i'm fine.
i'mfinei'mfinei'mfinei'mfinei'mfinei'mfine.

no' really.

the first day of holidays. one week to go.

2006-08-29T20:52:00.000-07:00

i love tommy! :3 was watching her 'hey my friend' pv after watching the credits of shimotsuma again. the song is really nice ^^ i tried a few of her other heavenly6 songs but they weren't as nice :( hehe je t'aime from february6 is cute though. what is with the fat cheerleaders LA D:

SYNTH-POP = LOVE.

2006-08-29T07:00:00.000-07:00

and now ON TOP OF ALL THAT

i think he turned off his phone or something like that. maybe being in a relationship isn't such a good idea after-fucking-all. not when he's uncontactable half of the time.

2006-08-29T06:48:00.000-07:00

great. fucking great.

i wake up from possibly the worst dream ive had [i doubt i can call it the worst ill ever have - i can think of eviller stuff] and it turns out i missed getting to see jiro. my mother likes to ask me crucial questions like 'should i wake you up?' when i'm already so damn sleepy. obviously any person who is so sleepy cant' think of much else and just wants to sleep. then she took my phone away so 'nobody could disturb me'. and she didn't wake me up to go see him when he came to give me the shirt that !@#@#%@$@ clement finally gave him.

and so im fuuuucking upset but yeah I GUESS I DONT HAVE A RIGHT TO BE. right. because only jiro has the right to be upset over anything, mostly all the little stuff. i make a conscious effort to say i love you, at least it shows i'm still BOTHERING to make an effort instead of just being 100% can't-be-fucked and make you even more upset after every phone conversation. why don't i do things 'because i love you'? look at it this way - I'M MAKING A CONSCIOUS EFFORT BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.

i hope you read this, jiro.

because SOMEONE can't talk on the phone.

biiiiiatch.

2006-08-28T01:35:00.000-07:00

i feel charming, so charming its ALARMING!

:D

finished detention today. HEHEHE. went to serene with salmah before. idiot made a story up on these two birds. it was funny because the birds' actions went along with the story xD

eg. "don't leave me, elizabeth!"
"leave me alone!" -bird runs off-

eg2. "i don't CARE" -birds feathers ruffle and bird opens beak xD-

then we fed the dumb birds fries. HAHA. stupid birds didnt' want to come close to us. BASTARDS. >( cheat my feelings la, how can.

went out with jiro again yesterday. heheh .i think i blogged about that yesterday but im not sure and i can't be bothered to check.

SCREWE THEREASI;LSDLFKAMWE;;IEJR;AE;LWIRJA;WLER FUCK SALMAH AND HER STUPID SPITBALLS. knnpcbccbnb!!! HANTAM JOOoOOooOOoOooOoOxXxX.

kEkE.

2006-08-26T19:51:00.000-07:00

hehe, still alive.

went out with jiro yesterday. we had dinner with my mom gahaha. at sun and moon. i looooove that place LA. ehehem. then he went off to gashaus to watch the gig. i kinda sorta wanted to go. haha EVERYONE goes la . mendy was there too. hehe her bf is so ghei man. vox of hellven. seraph's guitarist pwns him k.

um. i got around to doing history notes. WOOHOO.